The irony in this, however, is that while I cannot say for certain, my impression is that he is as uninterested as I in effecting much change in the way we each live our lives. This pattern was set long ago, and there seems to be no real reason to either of us to seek change. Frankly, what would be the purpose? It would seem that neither of us stands to gain anything by it. Pingback: Substance-abuse doc says: Stop chasing the drug! Focus on ACEs. Stop Abuse Campaign. My ACE score is 6. My resilience score 9.
In the last 3. Countless operations and now medication dependent to stay alive. However I am very grateful to be alive and am embracing my latest rock bottom to really make permanent and fundamental changes to my life. I have already started. Time to release and truly heal rather than the continuous fight…. Thank you for sharing your story. Despite what occurred to you, your fighting to keep going forward is an inspiration to me.
I wish you peace and happiness in your journey. Thanks for sharing I recommend you watch the documentary what the health and read the book How Not To Die. I have a score of 9. I have a lot of health issues at the age of Migraines, body aches, and anxiety all the time. Mentally, I am always on edge, but I have been able to put myself through college and I now work at a Fortune company and followed my dreams. I had an abusive mother. I was the oldest daughter of 6 children.
I was raised to be the man because my mother lost her family money with her many Inappropriate relationships. There were a lot of beating and stress. I started out w health problems The same way everyone else did feeling powerless I was lucky I was a good talker and salesman And working makes you evolve. Other people not your family tell you that you are smart strong wonderful Still I got manipulated by men who needed someone to pay their bills.
Until I completely broke ties with my manipulative mother who continued to drain me financially I was not mentally healthy. She reinforced that broken record in my brain I also take a supplement called pregnenolone It lowers cortisol and BP in less than 10 minutes. In pretty good health. To release the demons you have to get rid of the voices. Sorry it took me so long. I have friends I help in the health and financial industry. I have multiple licensure.
I am blessed But feel sad sometimes too. What is normal? Trust me , in the end no one has a normal like. We all take twists and turns. Hi kay, I have an ACE score of 10!!! Kay, I hear you. I bit a glass thermometer as a toddler while at a daycare where I was left alone with the bit of glass in my mouth to fend for myself and had to have the mercury pumped from my stomach and glass picked from my teeth.
The good news is that you CAN change things. At the age of twenty I began making huge strides. By converting to a high-vegetable, high-fruit, diet that omitted animal products, refined foods and even cooked foods, my energy levels sky-rocketed. I researched nutrition and biological health increasingly from age sixteen to age twenty-six, and then mostly switched to over to learning about psychology and hypnosis from there.
I highly recommend reading the two books I mentioned above as well as The Plant Paradox. Completely omitting foods that are a problem for you can make such a huge, huge difference and make it so much easier to get into a healthy frame of mind. I also had issues with cavities. My dentist confirmed that I had no decay anymore in my mouth and even plaque has stopped forming. I hope some of this information gives you hope. You will heal!
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Just set your mind to it and keep seeking inspiration and stories of healing every day. It is so beneficial to be inspired and to learn in that state of awe and hope! Kay, I admire your resilience and your courage so much. Your comment stuck out to me because some of your symptoms were also my symptoms. I am sure your health care provider has tested you for this, but if not, have you considered being tested for celiac disease? The ACE questionnaire gives a very sexist view of domestic violence.
My mother was the aggressor and abuser in my household. The phrasing of the question that includes only a mother or stepmother being victimized invalidates the experience of many taking this test. If your mother abused your father hit, punched, stabbed, etc. My mother was the abuser in my family too.
My bio-mother was the aggressor too! Women are still getting the benefit of the doubt in If you look into what was included and why, it was the most common events. There are many other ACEs that people experience, but these 10 are the most common…. Incan see that changing the language to just mention one parent or another rather than mother seems simple enough. Not sure. Remember, precision in defining these is what allows them to make this area of study valid. No doubt my mother was a malignant narcissist with BPD. I went no contact twice, once in my 20s for 2 yrs then again in my 30s , going on 15 yrs this time and what a sense of peace.
No contact is the only way. I have been studying psychology, molecular biology and Neuroscience now for about 8 years. Very thankful for the internet and the universities that put out there free webcasts. What started out as just an interest and self-education turned into therapy. Once you have the understanding of how the mind body Connection functions everything becomes crystal clear.
Check out the webcast from our major universities and also the following people Gabor Mate, Richard Grannon of the Spartan life coach, and Sam Vaknin the author of malignant self-love narcissism Revisited. Dan B. I have an ACE of 7. This book was very eyeopening as well as sharing what we can do NOW to improve mentally, emotionally and physically. If you choose to read it I know you will find ways to get help. I did. It may take more time for the understanding to lead to any benefit in terms of feeling better. Seeing that…. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and appreciate you.
Avoid all the negative people and negativity. I hope you seek help, my friend. Just taking one day at a time and trying not to think too far ahead. I wish you well. Aces score of 9. It is never too late. I quit drinking 20 years ago and that has helped, but I still struggle with depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety and sleeping disorders. My life still hurts, always has, probably always will.
But I still can find joy, happiness, love, and beauty in the world. I can still ride a horse, have a dog lots of critters actually laugh at a good joke. I delight in the company of those as odd as I am, and the list goes on and on. Carpe Diem brother. Dude, are you me? Actually, are you me in 2 years? I scored the same as you Toby.
I do go through mind battles but I have coping skills I use. Would like to know how to find someone who can help me with chronic pain physical pain. In Los Angeles area. Six protective factors ACE score six. I was the oldest and was given a lot of responsibility in a large family. I always did what I was supposed to do. In my day children were seen and not heard. Try Several of Them. Pingback: Luna. I took both the ACE test and the resilience test. No surprises, I had a very high score on ACE and an almost zero score on the resilience test.
I am the over achiever working long past retirement, afraid of having nothing to do. I am a loner, divorced and gave up on relationships. I am a super health nut person. My son says I did a very good job raising him mainly alone. I was very afraid to use drugs and alcohol because I always felt that I had a tendency for dependency sine my father was addicted to both. It took me years of psychological help to feel that I was worthy.
My greatest competition was my self. I can finally wear a size 8 and be good with that. I can finally laugh at my self and embrace my me. Moved away from home to go to college. I experienced how different other people outside of my family viewed me. Realized my mother had many narcissistic and borderline personality disorders traits. Cut off contact with my family. Learned about ACE research studies. My first glimpse of hope came about as a result of my suicide attempt soon after immigrated to the US.
I was interviewed by a social worker and referred to a community family therapist, who met my story with compassion and understanding, not accusation of betrayal. I hope US continues to strive to value facts, not wishful thinking. They feel better blaming me for all the family woes. These type of people want you to remain in a little box, where you can be continually abused, despised, blamed or pitied.
They feign care and genuine love because they cannot give you what they do not possess! This is my first time hearing about this. I need to do more research on this. This stopped when I learned of his sexually affairs which increased the abuse and cost him a prison sentence.
He and my first child suffer from severe schizophrenia…. Identify, great first step. Learn techniques to think and behave more healthfully for you. Behavioral Dialetic Therapy sp is one way. Build skills to never be deceived or harassed. Build a life worth living. But I have been greatly helped by the on-and-off therapy I have received as an adult, spread over a period of almost 30 years.
Please, for your own sake and mental health, try to find a therapist who can help you. There is free counseling out there and support groups, including secular. Google for free help. Please get help. You know you deserve better, you know can have a life worth living. Boy do I know that feeling, Jacqueline. But I hope you can learn how to un-screw. Wishing you a year of slow and gradual movement towards un-screwing up! ACE score 5 and Resilience score 8 Pondering significance of the two scores.
I am very encouraged that the resilience score is high. One 1 for sexual abuse. As an adult 12 out of So why am I as screwed up as I am? The way in which that trauma was perceived by you at the time would have a massive impact. You may have lacked the skills or not have been taught the skills to capably deal with the knocks and challenges and as a result suffered greatly from things that would have little impact on people who did receive these skills. That one traumatic experience in your life may have been enough to wreak you, but a child that was strong and resilient could have gotten through it and more.
By the way, any brain injury is a huge setback for anyone so maybe that plays a bigger role than you think. Sexual abuse is a pretty significant trauma. Plus the other factors you mentioned may have impacted your resilience to some degree. As I have learned through doing, head injuries themselves are traumatic events and they can do a lot to leave you not feeling right. She connected me with a great neuro optician, med management, and finally picked up the complex trauma history. To get the right care you need a load of self-advocacy and some luck. Have hope that there is opportunity for improvement with the right interventions.
Resiliency was 7. All things considered, I feel like I escaped from the dysfunction of my childhood as well as can be expected, and compared to others it could have been much worse. I hope this helps. One Woman's Choice. Neville, maybe do the very best you can for yourself, and those around you.
The world and country can go to heck as it often seems but if you can be and love and ground YOURself, there is hope. For you.. I agree, it can have a lasting impact upon children, my youngest brother has been severely hampered throughout life because he was unable to access proper bereavement counselling. But, the good thing is, you can always go back and sort out your feelings in your mind with a trusted counsellor [even if that person is a close friend].
This is probably due to not having sufficient participants who had lost a parent as a child, to adequately represent the population for statistical analysis, when considering the number of factors being analyzed. The more factors analyzed, the greater the population needs to be and the more precise the effect needs to be, to determine statistical significance.
Statistical analysis is complicated. I think it is defined as loss of a significant loving relationship. My grandfather lost 3 younger siblings and he was screwed up by that.
This is very important for a child. At 6 yrs old my foster father was killed in a car crash on Boxing Day. I saw this man as my father so it is a significant loss. My grandfather then died when I was 10 yrs old. What about children who grow up with frequent medical intervention? My child has not been abused, but she had brain surgery as a toddler and has been in and out of the hospital her whole life. It is not like a little kid can necessarily understand that the person who is hurting them does so for a good reason.
What research is being done on medical trauma in medically complex kids, especially those whose adverse medical experiences begin early in development? Medical trauma is acknowledged as an ACE. There are many other adverse experiences that are, as well. But hey, my parents, though ignorant, only occasionally spanked me! If this test is to be taken seriously, it needs questions, not And a serious examination of the effects of all kinds of institutional and other home-external environmental abuse, which is far more likely to occur below the middle classes. Okay this is about the profoundly different world in which those who are genetically wired to provide basic concern for you not only fail you but traumatize you.
This is about having no safe place or person to go and everyday is defined by how you can raise yourself, protect yourself from sexual or psychological or physical abuse or be an adult to save yourself from the nightmare around you. No offense, but as a person with serious chronic health issues, they are a walk in the park compared to this stuff and I was abused.
The world cares about the sick little kid. As a healthcare provider, I can tell you plenty of people work on the issue of child healthcare related trauma. Pediatric hospitals have pleasant floors, kids have items to soothe them and the last one I worked at had everything from xboxes to specially trained social workers and a host of other resources to help parents and their children cope and thrive despite the medical trauma. They wait in the ER for hours stuck with ER adult psych patients much of the time. Wait times can be for several hours or even days.
I never comment on the many things I read and scroll daily. So please take this in. Thank you. Your word affected me in quite a way. Please contiue to share your perspectives wherever possible. Yes I agree, if you have been hospitalised you are under the microscope but the minor ailments which are frequently associated with high levels of cortisol were unseen. This carried on until my teens. Then I turned to Alcohol and Cigarettes. No one stepped in, no one noticed. I kicked the people who did this to the kerb.
I as well could not wait to leave my home and break the cycle once I had children. Huuummmm i actually did the same thing that my parents. I ended up losing my child however she was cared for by her grandparents. I as well suffer from a chronic disease. I actually have many disease that I inherited from my mother.
The sad part is knowing that how they cared for me cause me to suffer from trauma and at times feel that they had ruin my life.
ACEs cause all kinds of physical, mental and social miseries. Yes, we can attribute to the parents or only one of the pair, as in my case … or, maybe we can understand the systemic and intergenerational nature of abuse and neglect, and focus efforts on breaking the chain of trauma-inheritance. Then I would say that your resilience is definitely higher than a 1; you are not giving yourself enough credit for grit…. I just learned about the ACE score in church yesterday from my pastor. I am grateful to be able to read about it, because my 10 year old grandson has had a difficult life and is acting out in school.
He and his family lived with me until he was eight and left under unpleasant circumstances. I see all of the effects of the study. Fortunately his mother is getting help from mental health for him. It tears my heart out to see his pain and hear him wishing he could stay with me. Classes should be integrated into the school system where our children can actually learn crucial information that will help them grow into healthy adults. Looking at these test scores, it looks like many of our parents have failed us in ways that have drastically changed our lives and our ability to cope and function.
The schools need to step in where the parents have failed in order to aid our children in learning the life skills to overcome and compensate for childhood trauma, neglect, and simply never being taught how to manage life in general. I was sexually molested by kids my age.
They dont have to be older than you. I fear my children willl be harmed by all the fun businesses and events that seem to celeebrating the offense. I was sexually molested by a kid my age and I agree. I have lasting issues from it. You have a right to be angry, sad, depressed or however it makes you feel. You come first no one else. When I told her to F off it felt like her foot was lifted off of my head, never felt better. I really feel for you, Lea… But, when I recall the context in which the original questionnaire was created originally, in response to results from a study on obesity — which was long before ACEs were seen as a phenomenon worthy of research and study — then, I forgive the gaps and seemingly skewed perspective.
My sense is that Drs Felitti and Anda, together with their colleagues and others, have come to understand, over time, that the relevant criteria must comprise factors ages, gender, circumstances, etc that lie far beyond those included in the original study. Clearly your own harrowing situation should help establish the broader parameters of future research and understanding of ACEs. Wishing you peace…. ACE score of 8, resiliency score of 5. My childhood made me fiercely independent with a hidden craving for a happy family.
I really have no experience with healthy relationships so nothing has worked out the way I hoped. My stepfather molested me from 6 to 10 when I got my first period. My mother closed the door. They divorced within 6 months and after teenage years trying to find hope in physical relationships I got unhappily married at He died at 24 leaving a pregnant girlfriend, I became pregnant and married a pallbearer. I tried to hold her hand as she was dying and she shook me off with the last of her strength.
Things like that have made it very hard for me to keep reaching out to people but I do…hopefully one day I will find a hand that fits. Amen to you. I too have tried to push forward and treat my own children the way I wish I had been treated. My past shall remain my past. Focus on what you have done that is positive and build from that. I applaud your courage. Amy, I understand your thoughts and feelings. I can relate. I also know the strength that it took to stand strong, to raise your child in a better home situation, to still be able to show compassionate care towards someone who failed to show you the same.
You are amazing and strong! I applaud you! Bless your heart for you have gone through a lot!
I my deepest prayers and thoughts are with you! Have faith. Pingback: Episode en gender ed Reflections on the needs and impact of domestic violence on survivors and children—a look back with our guest, Michael — engendered. I may well have been touched, as I have big sections of time in my childhood in which my abuser who lived with me is just… Missing.
Be that as it may, he did a lot of damage verbally, emotionally, and with body language, much of it extremely sexual. Also abused my Mum in every way. Used to lie awake at night listening to her trying not to cry while he raped her. It took me until the age of 41 to understand that all of that had really affected me. I still struggle to call it child sexual abuse, because others have experienced so much worse… Anyway.
My response was to bury my head in school, work incredibly hard, and shut my feelings down completely. I got into one of the best universities in the world, got 2 degrees there with really good grades , did really well at my job, etc. But I burned the candle at both ends. I suffered from mental illnesses from a young age, and went to counselling, took meds, but regularly had severe depressive episodes, which cost me a few years of uni.
I just pushed through it and ate ibuprofen like candy. I got sick all the time: colds, pneumonia, flu, Lyme Disease, an uncommon ear infection bacteria in my throat, strep over and over, gallbladder disease… I landed in the hospital multiple times, and each time the sickness, whatever it was, was worse. When I was 33, and insanely stressed out, I injured my back, had surgery, and developed chronic pain.
The thing is, I did it to myself. We keep getting sick, having breakdowns, and you just keep going! You broke your ankle and 3 days later went on a field exercise in the Carribean! Walking through the jungle in a cast! Are you insane?! Like Liked by 4 people. Dear Heather, your childhood was a truly horrific one! Be aware that when you did this to yourself, you never had a choice, because you were conditioned to act this way, just to survive short term. And the same is true for your parents — did they have any choices, regarding how their upbringings were? And the effects are gross.
Thanks for sharing your insights. The 10 questions cover the most frequent abuses, and yours was a bit different. Only a limited number of questions can be managed in questionnaires like this. Thanks, Erik. I had no emotions about it numb , but he actually stopped walking and gaped at me. My Dad is a closed book, but his sister is very similar, and my grandparents were curiously emotionless. I understand her pain and forgive her, but it still hurts.
Stepdad… All I know is that he stopped talking to his parents long before they died, and his brother killed himself. Ace 9, Res 7: Although my abuse was every kind except sexual… our adult lives have played out so similarly I got goose bumps. After 40 years of hyperarousal my body has switched to hypoarousal for the first time ever to stop me … and I am lost in the woods with no supplies for this one. Wow, our lives have gone similarly! I seem to be switching between hyper- and hypo-arousal at the moment. I used to think hypo would be better, but oh no.
How are you now?
My resilience score is 2. They were equally bleak statistics. I became ambitious about writing, but monitor light scalded my eyes. Thank you! No offense, but as a person with serious chronic health issues, they are a walk in the park compared to this stuff and I was abused. Question The idea is good but I never had control of my own life. I have been working on myself for nearly my whole life.
I had a bit of a revelation a couple of days ago. You are too. My name is Stephanie Lynn. I acknowledge your courage woman!!! I am so grateful for that powerful share. What you described IS sexual, emotional and physical abuse. And I can say that having experienced it myself. My story is a bit different.
I was abused by my biological Father for many years. I am currently doing cognitive processing therapy. I am putting my effort and energy into rewiring my brain. I have a lot of wounds from childhood. I can remember being touched at age 2 approximately, the abuse stopped when I was 14 years old. I am now I kept it all in for many years, I created a monster of myself. I was a bully at one point in my life, I hated myself most of the time, I did lots of drugs, I was in self destruct mode. I remember always saying that I would die young… I always thought that way, that my life had no meaning to it.
My self esteem was almost gone and my will to live as well. A lot has changed for me since those days. I have done a lot of meditation, energy healing, I did the Gratitude Program super powerful retreat!! Totally recommend it , I pressed charges against my Father with the intention to get a full confession and for him to get the help he needs and not hurt another soul again starting with himself now I am doing this therapy for the first time at a Rape Treatment Center nearby… I am also creating a documentary about overcoming sexual trauma and the whole process I am currently putting myself through.
I want to spend my life living joyfully, light-fully and compassionately.
I want to remind the world that communication, connection, vulnerability and courage are right there for us to access when we want, all we have to do is look in that direction and begin framing our thoughts around them, then speaking up about whatever it is that ails us and experiencing the effect of it.
Your message is a big step towards healing. Thank you for that! The reason I speak up is to heal. This way I also set an example. There is no reason to suffer in silence for years when it is so easy to speak and heal right away. So Thank you again and again for speaking up! Hi Stephanie, thank you, and damn, your response is equally powerful. Thank you for making me feel less alone, for joining me in my vulnerability eek! Obviously your abuse needs no validation.
I wonder how many of us there are, who survived but lived for so long in silence? No matter, I quickly ended up in situations that thoroughly squashed it again. Users of other environments are more-or-less on their own in getting ACE compiled hint: you'll need to install repp Here, we used the -1 option to request only a single result, the -T option to suppress output of derivation trees, and the -f option to ask ACE to print each MRS EP on its own line, for legibility.
Here's a more complicated command pipeline, showing how to use the parsing and generation capabilities of ACE together to paraphrase an input: [sweaglesw octopus ace The quick brown fox, that jumped over the lazy dog, took a nap. The brown quick fox, who jumped over the lazy dog, took a nap. The quick brown fox, who jumped over the lazy dog, took a nap.
The brown quick fox, which jumped over the lazy dog, took a nap. Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings. If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.
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